The Art of Peacemaking

‏Learning the art of deliberately speaking and living to be a peacemaker is something I am truly studying to understand. 

I was recently caught off guard with a contentious situation. I felt deeply hurt and found myself truly wrestling with negativity. With personal effort and time my heart is finally feeling peace about the situation and I am actually extremely grateful for all I learned as I studied and wrestled. As I studied, I found peacemaking is not what you might think, it is not a passive attempt, it is real, it's a living, breathing spiritual awareness, it is also bold and it yet it can be sometimes very difficult to discern how to approach a situation, but it is a blessing. I gave my 6/7 year old primary class the challenge this week to be a peacemaker 
‏in the home. I better take the challenge to heart
and apply peacemaking to all aspects of my life!
‏
I recently asked Dr. Glenn Kimber advice on what to do when you have spoken in peace, yet spoken truth and it is rejected with contention. Or even, not said anything at all And contention ensues. His reply. You need to read the whole thing in order to understand the entire message.
"I sit on my hands. My wife asked me once while at church if I was going to speak up and correct doctrine and I did not. I sat on my hands (figuratively speaking). You see, we are all at different places of understanding. We all learn 'line upon line' not 'dissertation upon dissertation' or 'thesis upon thesis.''
Then he said what really struck me. 

"When the Savior was speaking to Pilot, he had a nice conversation. Pilot was willing to listen and found no wrong within Jesus. He spoke to his people and gave parables. He spoke to some and rebuked them. And with wicked wicked Harrod, he said nothing."
Peace is personal. It requires the careful focus of peacemaking with the deliberate attempt to strive for the ability to have spiritual discernment and to understand how to proceed. This is truly a lifelong pursuit and well worth the effort. 

President Nelson states:
"My concern is that contention is becoming accepted as a way of life. From what we see and hear in the media, the classroom, and the workplace, all are now infected to some degree with contention. How easy it is, yet how wrong it is, to allow habits of contention to pervade matters of spiritual significance, because contention is forbidden by divine decree:
“The Lord God hath commanded that men should not murder; that they should not lie; that they should not steal; that they should not take the name of the Lord their God in vain; that they should not envy; that they should not have malice; that they should not contend one with another.” (2 Ne. 26:32.) https://www.lds.org/general-conference/1989/04/the-canker-of-contention?lang=eng
A divine decree is enough for me to strive daily to have the kind of peace God mandates for all man.


https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2008/10/our-hearts-knit-as-one?lang=eng

"If there are barriers, it is because we ourselves have created them. We must stop concentrating on our differences and look for what we have in common; then we can begin to realize our greatest potential and achieve the greatest good in this world. Sister Marjorie P. Hinckley once said, “Oh, how we need each other. Those of us who are old need you who are young. And, hopefully, you who are young need some of us who are old. It is a sociological fact that women need women. We need deep and satisfying and loyal friendships with each other.” Sister Hinckley was right; oh, how we need each other!" Bonnie L Oscarson
https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2014/04/sisterhood-oh-how-we-need-each-other?lang=eng

Yoked to Christ in Marriage

Christ is our Redeemer and has promised that if we go to him, through his Atoning Sacrifice he will lighten our burdens being yoked to him.

Matthew 11: 28-30
28 “...Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in eheart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.
 30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

1828 Definition of YOKE = YOKE, noun [G., Latin , Gr.]

1. A piece of timber, hollowed or made curving near each end, and fitted with bows for receiving the necks of oxen; by which means two are connected for drawing. From a ring or hook in the bow, a chain extends to the thing to be drawn, or to the yoke of another pair of oxen behind.

YOKE, verb transitive

1. To put a yoke on; to join in a yoke; as, to yoke oxen, or a pair of oxen.

2. To couple; to join with another.

Cassius, you are yoked with a lamb.

So this is how you and the Savior through His atonement are yoked together.

There are days, days that marriage feels like a huge burden. The person you dearly love, seems to speak in a language you don't understand nor understands you. Communication feels stiffened, patience is low, daily trials feel heavy, change is stagnant or slow. Trials and personal imperfections burden marriage. Many people struggle to approach these challenges and find joy and love.

Bruce C Hafen spoke about marriage:

"Every marriage is tested repeatedly by three kinds of wolves. The first wolf is natural adversity. Second, the wolf of their own imperfections will test them. The third wolf is the excessive individualism that has spawned today’s contractual attitudes."

However, there is a dialogue in these difficult moments, that I have forgotten. A remembrance and rejoicing I have neglected. Through baptism and confirmation, I covenanted that I would follow my brother, my Savior (our Savior) Jesus Christ! I would take his name upon me. I would follow his commandments, his example. In that promise that I recommit weekly through the sacrament, I am turning all I have, all I am over to my Lord. Everything. He paid the price for me, for you.
Now, I do not mean to be trite here. I can definitely list the terrible struggles that afflict us in life but do we remember that the Lord suffered everything for us?
He knows the struggle of debt, the joy of paying it off, he felt it all. He knows how it feels to struggle months and months on end with a disabling sickness in pregnancy.  He knows the immense pain of giving birth. He knows the depression onset when the dishes are not done and the laundry is piled high. He knows how complacency feels, laziness feels, and even the struggle of when a spouse is not on the same page. For our Lord bore it all, for all of us.
Then the joy that comes through the Lord, willingly, lovingly, plentifully. That immense, beautiful, never-ending joy.

In the beginning of the marriage covenant we are yoking our marriage to the Savior through the covenants we make in the temple.
We together yoked as one complete whole. His sacrifice is seen in tandem. His sacrifice was truly for ALL sorrow and ALL joy. The sorrow is swallowed up, literally and the joy is poured out, overflowing. I think that is a pretty good deal, don't you?

Let's explore covenant marriage again.

Marriage is a covenant by nature:
"Marriage is by nature a covenant, not just a private contract one may cancel at will. Jesus taught about contractual attitudes when he described the “hireling,” who performs his conditional promise of care only when he receives something in return. When the hireling “seeth the wolf coming,” he “leaveth the sheep, and fleeth … because he … careth not for the sheep.” By contrast, the Savior said, “I am the good shepherd, … and I lay down my life for the sheep.”2 Many people today marry as hirelings. And when the wolf comes, they flee. This idea is wrong. It curses the earth, turning parents’ hearts away from their children and from each other." Bruce C Hafen

How can we treat marriage as a covenant?
The Lord Has promised:

Mosiah 18:8
“...as ye are desirous to come into the fold of God, and to be called his people, and are willing to bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light;”

"When we observe the covenants we make at the altar of sacrifice, we discover hidden reservoirs of strength." Bruce C Hafen

The principle of the number 3 is unity.
Being yoked equally in marriage 
is only attainable when we are 1st yoked to Christ.

Gimmel is the third Hebrew letter and number 3.
Anciently they wrote the letter at a foot. It means to carry, lift up,
gather, walk, gives direction, charity; all qualities of Christ.
For more study on the number three and the triangle go to: http://www.keystoneed.com/numbers1.html

When we are Yoked in Christ and trust/obey him completely
equal yoke is attainable and a relief and joy in marriage.
The principle of the equilateral triangle = 
When growing closer to Christ we form healthy boundaries, 
good attributes that form Christlike love for our spouse.
This can draw us closer togeather. This keeps each of us clear as to how to act in Faith in our marriage. Any marriage. _

So these 

Peace be with you my friends and may you have strength to act in faith! -Sharee Jones

For More study please read Bruce C Hafen's conference talk on Marriage: https://www.lds.org/general-conference/1996/10/covenant-marriage?lang=eng
For more study for bearing our burdens with Christ and applying this chart to every relationship[ see: April 2013 Conference Talk
By David A Bednar
“Bear up their Burdens with Ease” https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2014/04/bear-up-their-burdens-with-ease?lang=eng
What are our loads in life? Are our loads providing spiritual traction? When we are yoked to Christ, what are the loads we are pulling?

The unique burdens in each of our lives help us to rely upon the merits, mercy, and grace of the Holy Messiah. - Elder Bednar

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Thank you and good bye (for now) to our family and friends in Southern Utah, we have forever

I write this emotional post as a thank-you to all who helped us succeed in our life for the past eight years. So many people helped, so many people who are not even pictured here, including my sisters, my parents, Laramie's brothers and family and some close friends who helped significantly over the years. We love you all, we love your willingness to give. You helped our family be able to prosper during some difficult times. 

Laramie began remodeling this home over 11 years ago. We were married over seven and a half years ago. In that time we added three more children to our family, remodeled two bathrooms, living room, bedrooms, all doors, two windows, repaired the roof, the chimney, added a fence, repainted inside and out, added new trim, textured the ceilings, carpeted, added travertine floors, decorated, messed up, broke and repaired and grew many gardens, flowers, added grass, retaining wall and countless other little things. We began; homeschooling, we had a successful home-birth, we learned, we cried we saved money, we spent lot's of money. My 12 year old son, grew into a young man. 

Over a year ago we decided to get serious about finishing many small projects and move to Sevier County, Utah over 2 and a half hours away. It is a magical place for us around July when we go up and escape for vacation every year. Laramie's family lives there and we have often said we would move up there in enough time our children would enjoy living in a smaller town and country. Over 11 months ago Laramie found a job up North and took it, staying with his family during the week and coming home on weekends. It has been a strain and sacrifice for our family. There have been many times, we have sat at the door and cried waving at Laramie as he drove away. Many times Laramie stopped the car just to drive back for one more hug and kiss. 

We worked through emergency room visits for bonked heads, visited the doctor for stitches, recovered from family illness, loved through Christmas, Easter and many other weekends. We prayed to keep vision, even when it didn't seem to make sense. We have learned to study the scriptures and understand the gospel of Jesus Christ in a deep and personally meaningful way. 

My ward and neighbors (in the Bloomington neighborhood). You have taught me at a most critical learning period in my life. I love you all. My sweet ward and my sweet neighbors are what make this move so hard. The remodel on our home conditioned us to be stronger, but you were what made it possible to get over some serious obstacles, like a massive yard clean up, cleaning, packing and organizing with small children (as a semi/ single parent, while Laramie was at work), through injuries, illness and frustrations. Not to mention helping us build and grow spiritually. I saw the inner genius and felt my testimony grow for the meaning of what ward family really means. There was always someone who would step in at the right moment with a treat, a meal, a kind word or a helping hand. This past Sunday Sue Eyering and Wendy Ludlow showed up at my doorstep with a plan to have the ward as a group family home evening project, show up and help us pack. It was the greatest blessing you could ever have imagined. Laramie could not get the time off of work this week sufficient to help me pack and move. I have felt overwhelmed and have continued to pray for the energy and ability to be ready to move. It was miraculous! In two hours my home was packed and in a moving trailer you had paid for. We had meals brought to us, my extra laundry was taken by Sue platt and Sue Eyering and done! There were over 35 people in my home. It was amazing! Including (just listing from the top of my head here people who represented their famiy: Cary's, Thoman's Webs, Thomas's, Wrights, Pearson's, Ludlow's, Eyring's, Talbots, Platt's, Snows, Adam's Scott's, Baresco's, Watson's, Lambs and Bishop's...and many more.

Also thank you Rosine, Lauren, Glenda, Lyla, Marilyn, Cary, Amanda, Twila, Kellie, Vincent and Amber. I may never stop being able to thank you all. I have many, many mentors in the ward. All those who I have not mentioned, please know I have thought of you. I know you and I will never forget you. So many of you who gently taught me, refined me through their patient service. How will I ever be able to thank you? I love you! You were direct answers to my prayers, to our prayers as a family. We have kept you in our hearts and prayers regularly. 

Thank you to our family and friends who have encouraged us. We love you. We love the gifts and help you have given us. We just love you so much! There are too many people to list. It is worth saying again. I love you all. Thank you Nichol who encouraged me daily and taught me how to properly paint. Thank you to my mom, Malea and Tobi (my sisters) who were able to help at just the right times. Thank you to my many homeschool friends. I love you! Thank you to my mentor Tresta Neil, for the past two years, you have taught me on a weekly basis. You have encouraged me to dream, to have vision and how to manifest! You helped me recognize inspiration, you helped me make it through some very tough moments. You helped me create a venue in which I could serve God and give back.

My Brother in law, Matt Scott, reminded me while I was struggling to say goodbye to our home, that we can't take it with us. All we can take is our are experiences and gained knowledge. We may not be able to take our friends with us at the moment, but we have grown to be a better people because of them. We have them for forever.  So please know, If we don't see each-other in this life, be certain that I will be looking for you in the next. I love you my friends!

I know God lives and has organized his kingdom in a way so that we may bless each-other all the way back into His presence. God be with you till we meet again.

We look forward to the future and plan to keep you update as we progress and learn. Till then!